Bs”d
Parshas Vayechi (5761)
by Mordechai Dolinsky
Our Parsha and likewise sefer Beraish ends with the Shvatim petitioning Yosef for forgiveness. The reply to the request is not related by the Chumash. His weeping can be interpreted as sadness that they even felt a need to ask. To the contrary, in Rabbeinu BiChaye and likewise reflected in the Or HaChayim is that Yosef did not forgive his brothers!!
With regard to monetary manners conscientious people practice caution not to inflict damage or financial loss to others. If they did, they see to it to rectify the damage they caused. Likewise, the victim would expect to be recompensed and would not forgo payment unless the case was pleaded in a way that he could come to terms with himself and see his way to forgive without receiving payment.
With regard to hurting another’s feelings through verbal abuse or action, it should be related to in the same manner as monetary loss. Unfortunately, it is common to find today that this is not the practice.
People are lacking in the awareness of the sensitivity to the feelings of others and often lack the necessary caution not to hurt others. If they do, often it is not properly rectified. Also, the victim feels pressured to express forgiveness even though the hurt is still intensively imbedded in his heart. The procedure of asking forgiveness often resembles the mitzvah of Pidyon HaBen with each party “performing” the prearranged “roles and lines”.
A lot of thought and precaution should be exercised not to hurt others. If one does hurt he should seriously plead his case for forgiveness. The hurt victim shouldn’t feel intimidated to show forgiveness unless he has found a place in his heart to do so.
Yosef with all the love and feelings his had for his brothers could not find a true place in his heart to really forgive them. By upgrading our relationships we will bring tremendous bracha to our lives and all Klal Yisroel.